To my baby

Dearest Aydin,

Today you turn one. My last baby is officially a "toddler". Where has the year gone? In one sense, I am thrilled that you are growing up... becoming more self sufficient. In another sense, you are just so darned cute that I want you to stay little forever. Pretty soon, you'll walk off all of your lovable baby rolls. You won't want me to hold your bottle for you and rock you to sleep. You won't walk towards me (very wobbly) so enthusiastically with the purest smile and hug me so hard. Yep, soon you'll be a big boy, like your brother. That's o.k., though. I have a feeling you are going to grow up to be something special... you are going to make a difference with your life. If your personality now is in any way an indicator of what's in store for you, I am going to be the proudest mom in the world. I already am.

Everyday I struggle to keep a record of you and your brother as you are now. It is so important to me. I don't want to forget anything about your first year of life.

I don't want to forget how...

...for the longest time you would sing yourself to sleep.
...you say "Weeeee!" when sliding or swinging.
...you idolize your brother.
...soft your hair is.
...you only say "Mama" when you are whining and crying looking to me for relief.
...we call you "sticky fingers" because you grab everything within reach.
...curious you are.
...squirmy you are. I can't hold you for more than a second before you start wiggling to get away.
...you LOVE to splash around in toilet water.
...you put EVERYTHING into your mouth.
...your belly hangs over your shorts.
...your deep, husky voice.
...cute you are when you wave and say "Bye"

You are so content most of the time with whatever we throw at you. You travel well, you shop well, you play on your own well... you just go with the flow. I love that about you. I think that is a trait that comes from being second born. You are also so very sensitive. You get your feelings hurt easy. But, you are physically tough. You owe that to your big brother. You are active. Boy, are you active! Between you and your brother, I am shocked I don't weigh 30 pounds less than I do. You aren't really in to too much cuddling. But, that's o.k. because when you give love, it is even that much more special. Besides, as I am sure you have learned, whether you like it or not, Mama likes to give lots of cuddles. Deal with it.

I could go on and on. The days have just flown by and all I can do is hope that I have taken enough videos and pictures and written enough about you that I can always hold on to the memory of you as a baby.

I wish you all the joy in the world. More than anything, I want for you to be happy.

I also wish that you and your brother will grow up to be the best of friends. I am so happy that you have each other. You guys are going to need each other throughout life. There's a support that you can offer to one another that your dad and I can't.

If I could give you one piece of advice, it is to LOVE with all that you are. This life is short. Love hard. Don't let a day go by where you wonder if your family and friends know how you feel about them. Always show it.

I feel like this letter is so scattered, but my head is working faster than my hands can type.

Aydin, you are such a joy in my life. You complete me. You complete this family. I love you with all that I am. I look forward to watching you grow into a young man. I am going to do everything within my power to make sure that all the world is yours. I love you baby boy.

All my love,
Mama