There is a particular blog that I have been reading for a while now. It is not terribly interesting, but just something that I skim over for mild entertainment when bored. This morning after reading yet another post about her bad marriage that she is supposedly working on, I felt compelled to comment. I NEVER comment on strangers blogs, NEVER. 75% of her blog entries revolve around the topic that her marriage sucks and that her husband is a you-know-what. She takes husband bashing to a whole new level. Feel free to read for yourself... (rockstarmommy.com). Really, I didn't expect my comment to make waves... I just thought I would leave a little piece of advice that she would probably just read over and think "another crazy reader..." Shockingly, not 15 minutes after my comment was posted, she posted a reply comment in her defense. After reading her comment, I felt a little guilty. Obviously, it made a pretty big impression on her. I have never seen her reply to any of her comments. What if I made her feel bad? What if her day is ruined by my advice? But, then again, what if she took some of it to heart and it will help. Who knows. Really, who cares? I don't even know this person! Anyways, now all these people are leaving comments after her entry today damning me and my advice. I am hated and it feels good. :-)
I should really get a life.
Here's my comment and her reply.
I am not saying this to be mean, just a helpful piece of advice...
Maybe if you quit focusing on the negative and tried to be more positive about working on your relationship, it might actually work. I think it shows a lot of disrespect for your husband to continuously bash him on your website. I have a blog as well and no matter how angry my husband makes me, I NEVER advertise it to the world. My marriage is more sacred than that. How does it make him feel to continuously read all the banter about himself? I bet your therapist would agree that it is NOT helping the situation. I admit, it is entertaining, but at what expense?? I don't know the reasons behind your relationship troubles, but if you have committed to work on it together, I don't think that you are honoring that... even if the base of the problems are his fault. If you agree to work on things, you have to give it 100%. Otherwise, you are cheating yourself, Ty, and your relationship. Your anger deserves an outlet, but maybe a more private one... a friend or therapist, perhaps.
Sorry to impose... just thought I would offer my two cents of advice. Maybe it is not welcome, but I keep reading other people's comments who seem to praise you for Ty-bashing or make light of the situation and I think that that is irresponsible.
Cara,
I hear you. You're probably right. But, in my defense there, I have bashed myself continually about it also and fully admitted that I've got a ton of flaws, too. Not that it's productive in any way. It's really just more of an outlet than anything. I also posted on a pretty recent entry that posting all this negativity IS WRONG and that it's not helping things progress in any way and I do believe that.
I like being honest on here and I receive a lot of email from people thanking me who can relate, including men. I understand, though, when people don't really understand what I'm saying. I handle everything in my life with humor and sarcasm and that's not always embraced and it's definitely not the best way to handle everything either. But, that's just who I am.
I love my husband but we are going through a really rough time right now and when I decided to start talking about it on my site, I knew it wouldn't be the most popular of topics. But I think it's good, in a way, to show that we ARE working on things, but just because we decided "hey, let's work on this..." that it doesn't just magically get better.
Sometimes we move forward, but a lot of times we take 3 steps forward, 10 steps back. But I think that's normal and I'm not ashamed in any way to admit to that. I look forward to being able to write about taking 10 steps forward, no steps back.
But, I do get what you're saying about the negativity. But, like I said, it's just the way I handle shit. Which doesn't make it right.
There is a particular blog that I have been reading for a while now. It is not terribly interesting, but just something that I skim over for mild entertainment when bored. This morning after reading yet another post about her bad marriage that she is supposedly working on, I felt compelled to comment. I NEVER comment on strangers blogs, NEVER. 75% of her blog entries revolve around the topic that her marriage sucks and that her husband is a you-know-what. She takes husband bashing to a whole new level. Feel free to read for yourself... (rockstarmommy.com). Really, I didn't expect my comment to make waves... I just thought I would leave a little piece of advice that she would probably just read over and think "another crazy reader..." Shockingly, not 15 minutes after my comment was posted, she posted a reply comment in her defense. After reading her comment, I felt a little guilty. Obviously, it made a pretty big impression on her. I have never seen her reply to any of her comments. What if I made her feel bad? What if her day is ruined by my advice? But, then again, what if she took some of it to heart and it will help. Who knows. Really, who cares? I don't even know this person! Anyways, now all these people are leaving comments after her entry today damning me and my advice. I am hated and it feels good. :-)
I should really get a life.
Here's my comment and her reply.
I am not saying this to be mean, just a helpful piece of advice...
Maybe if you quit focusing on the negative and tried to be more positive about working on your relationship, it might actually work. I think it shows a lot of disrespect for your husband to continuously bash him on your website. I have a blog as well and no matter how angry my husband makes me, I NEVER advertise it to the world. My marriage is more sacred than that. How does it make him feel to continuously read all the banter about himself? I bet your therapist would agree that it is NOT helping the situation. I admit, it is entertaining, but at what expense?? I don't know the reasons behind your relationship troubles, but if you have committed to work on it together, I don't think that you are honoring that... even if the base of the problems are his fault. If you agree to work on things, you have to give it 100%. Otherwise, you are cheating yourself, Ty, and your relationship. Your anger deserves an outlet, but maybe a more private one... a friend or therapist, perhaps.
Sorry to impose... just thought I would offer my two cents of advice. Maybe it is not welcome, but I keep reading other people's comments who seem to praise you for Ty-bashing or make light of the situation and I think that that is irresponsible.