Just crowned WMOY (Worst Mom of the Year)

My son is a perpetual victim of some sort of physical ailment. I try to take all precautions to keep him from hurting himself, but to no avail. Short of living in an empty house or gearing him in knee and elbow pads every day, I believe that I have done everything possible to lessen the likelihood of an accident. But, as you will see, my efforts are fruitless. After all, Danyel and I are VERY clumsy and accident prone, so this kid was born without a chance. Here are a list of his current boo-boos. As a whole, he looks like he has been in an awful car accident or is a resident of some third world country where he lives amongst wild animals and flesh eating bugs.

Boo-boo #1: Cut on bottom of foot. He stepped on a piece of broken glass in my mom's kitchen. He never cried. My brother just noticed a trail of blood across the floor. My mom doesn't remember breaking something and has no idea how the little shard of glass got on the floor. Leave it to Carsten to find it and step on it.

Boo-boo #2: Skinned knee from where he tripped in the driveway while running today. It is rare if Carsten is NOT sporting at least one skinned knee.

Boo-boo #3: Mystery cut above eye. I have no idea where this came from, just popped up a few days ago. He probably scratched himself with his fingernails that are overdue for a clipping.

Boo-boo #4: Ant bites all over his foot. Yesterday he was playing in the yard in his ball pen when he held up his foot, looked up at me, and started wailing. I rushed to wipe the swarm of ants off of his foot, but apparently I was too late. Bonus points for the mystery scab to the left of his ankle.

Boo-boo #5: Bruise on inside of left knee. There is also one on the outside of his knee. This looked much worse last week. It is left over from when he got his leg stuck in between the rails of his crib. Apparently, he thought that he could get out that way. It took a lot of twisting, pulling, and pushing to pry his fat knee loose. I don't know how he even got it in there. Climbing over the top never crossed his mind. Thank God. The thought of having to graduate him to a real bed at night and not being able to cage this wild child scares the hell out of me.

Boo-boo#6: Bruise on inside of right knee. This is from when he pulled the kitchen chair down on top of himself this weekend. They are made of iron and are very heavy. The top of it landed right on his leg.

Boo-boo #7: Scrape on his arm that we are guessing came from when we took him to Aunt Meme's neighborhood pool over the weekend. Again, this is just a guess.

Some other recent scars... Last week he was sporting a heat rash all over his back and arms. It just cleared up within the last few days. He also had a big scratch down one of his shoulders where I accidentally scratched him while trying to save him from yet another fall. It bled and everything. The fall would have been less damaging, for sure. At least 3 times a day he hits his head on something. I am amazed at the resilience of his skull and brain.

Got to go... CPS is knocking at my door.