Deep sigh

Today the doctor called and told me that my screening for down syndrome (for the baby) came back negative. I feel like I have won the lottery. It's kind of strange, but for some reason I always worry about this, so much so that it isn't rational. I know realistically the chances of having a down syndrome baby for someone at my age is pretty low, like 1 in 800 or something (don't quote me on that statistic). But, nonetheless, it scares the bejeebers out of me.

I've talked on here before about my irrational worries, so most of you already know I am a little cuckoo. I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop, always waiting for my stroke of good luck to end. I have been incredibly blessed in my life, suffering very few, if any, real heartaches and struggles. I am convinced that the universe is going to have to even things out eventually and I am going to get hit with a big nasty one in life. This is the way it has to be to keep things fair, right? Crazy, but this is the way I think.

Here's another example of my irrational fears. The other night Danyel went out to pick up dinner right across the street. He was gone for 30 minutes and had left his cell phone at home. I started to freak and assumed the worst. I had visions going through my head of him being robbed and killed. My heart just sunk and all I could think about was how awful it would be to have to raise Carsten and this baby on my own. He returned, of course, complaining about the long line in the drive thru.

Anyway, so I am a little crazy, but very happy that I can be nothing but thrilled now about our new arrival. I am starting to show finally and even felt the baby move a few times now. We have picked out our names for the most part and are starting to prepare the house for another Ramelow. As a side note, I apologize, in advance, to all our future house guests who will be sleeping on a futon bed in the upstairs loft. Not much for classy accommodations, but things are getting tight up in here and it's the best we can offer!