A New Addition

So, for those of you who haven't heard the news, Danyel and I are expecting again. Very soon after I posted my entry about us trying we got the good news...




I am currently about 10 weeks pregnant and am very much looking forward to getting past the first trimester. I have been exceptionally tired from the start, even more so than I was with Carsten. I have also been pretty nauseated, but nothing too severe... pretty much like last time - no vomiting, just a disgust for food in general. For this, I owe my loss of the extra five pounds I was carrying around since having Carsten. It's amazing what eating a little less and cutting out junk food will accomplish. But, the worse side effect is what this child is doing to my face! I have been broken out constantly since the start... comparable or maybe even worse to what I went through as a teenager. I don't remember having this problem with Carsten. Actually, I think my skin was the clearest it has ever been when I was pregnant with Carsten. So, like I said, I am anxiously awaiting the second trimester when, hopefully, my hormones will adjust and things will be back to normal... well, with the exception of the life that I am growing inside of me, of course.

Danyel and I are very excited about having another child, but it's a more calm excitement than it was with Carsten. We have been here before, so it's not so new this time. We have decided not to find out the sex of the baby to add a little more excitement to it. I know most people are hoping for a girl for us, but I kind of think another boy would be nice. I think it would be nice for Carsten to have a brother. Plus, if this one is a girl, Danyel is cutting me off. I am not saying that I want more than 2 kids for sure, but I would like to have the option open to me. We have also decided not to tell anyone the names we have picked out until the baby is born. As we learned last time, everyone has an opinion, and they are quick to share it... positive or negative. We got a little flack for picking the name Carsten. In fact, I don't think anyone was crazy about it but us, and you all let us know. And, in the end, you were all wrong. The name Carsten fits Carsten perfectly. In the interim, we are calling the baby (courtesy of Danyel) 'Fetus Adolphus'. Yes, it is awful, but I like being able to address the baby as something other than 'the baby' or 'It'.

I had my first visit to the doctor a couple of weeks ago and got to see the baby bouncing around on the ultrasound as well as hear his heartbeat for a few seconds. It's amazing... no matter how many times I hear a little heartbeat inside of me it always gets me all teared up. It is the best sound I have ever heard in my life. We are due on May 21st... the day after Mother's Day. Could there be a more perfect day?

The best thing about being on round two is that a lot of the compulsive fears I had last time I was pregnant are gone. I worried about EVERYTHING last time and my fears didn't subside until I held Carsten in my arms. I am much more relaxed about this pregnancy and have more confidence that everything will turn out just fine. However, new fears have set in. I worry about not loving this baby as much as Carsten. How can I possibly have that much love left in my heart to share with another child? In the end, I know that I will, but it is just hard to imagine it now. Also, I worry about being able to handle two little ones, but again, I am sure I will manage and adapt. But, most of all, I worry about childbirth. I made no secret of the fact that going through it with Carsten was the worst experience of my whole life. I am very fearful of pushing for 2 1/2 hours again. Holy Hell, I don't think I could do that twice in a lifetime.

I will post Fetus Adolphus' first picture whenever I can get my lazy pregnant butt off of the couch and take the time to scan it and post it. Just making this post has worn me out and I am off to take a bubble bath with my Bubby.