Catholic... to be or not to be?

Recently I purchased some books to learn more about the Catholic religion. I am a cradle catholic that really isn't very knowledgeable about all the church doctrines. So, I started my journey with "Catholicsm for Dummies". Don't laugh... This book was written by two Catholic priests and is highly recommended by Catholic scholars as a good overview/summary of the Catholic Catechism. I have learned a lot, and to my dismay, have found out that is o.k. for me to have some of the views that I have and still be a Catholic... or for that matter... a Christian. It's o.k. for me to believe in the Theory of Evolution. The church thinks that science and religion don't go against each other, but actually complement each other. You can believe that humans evolved from apes as long as you realize that this course of events was created by God. Also, I have always had a problem with the literal interpretation of everything in the Bible. Of course, the Bible is the Word of God and is therefore the truth and nothing but the truth. But, this doesn't change the fact that a lot of the books in the Bible are written using figurative writing styles. Catholics don't necessarily believe that the world was created in 7 actual 24 hour periods. Genesis was written as a poem. Though it is truth, to take it literally is not honoring that truth. Don't get me wrong... of course I believe in Adam and Eve and the whole shebang. They were the first humans, but that doesn't mean that they did not evolve from apes. I also don't believe that the world is only 6,000 years old and yes, I believe that dinosaurs walked the earth before we did. There is proof of this. Period.

My spiritual journey was going well until last night. I read in my book that if a Catholic marries in a non-Catholic ceremony, that there marriage is invalid in the eyes of the church. This I already knew, and could deal with. I know that my marriage is valid in the eyes of God and that is all I am concerned with. But, then it went on to say that if your marriage is invalid, you should not receive communion until you make it valid by marrying in the church. This really hit a heart string with me. After all, the celebration of the Eucharist is HALF of what Mass is all about. I felt like I was being rejected by something that I am trying to embrace. Why am I not worthy to receive God's grace because I wasn't married in the church? Then, I read that two non Catholics that get married in a non Catholic ceremony are recognized as having a valid marriage??!! How is that fair? Anyways, this really tore me up. I went to bed thinking "Why am I trying so hard to embrace my Catholic faith if they are in fact denying me?"

Well, I prayed on it and this morning I have had an epiphany. No, I may not subscribe to every Church law, but I consider myself a Catholic. I believe 100% in the theological beliefs of Catholics. I believe in the Nicene Creed and live by it. I honor Mary, the Mother of God, I believe in the Holy Trinity, I believe that Catholicsm is the Apostolic religion, etc. It's the churches "laws" that I guess I sometimes disagree with. I am not against artificial means of birth control. It is a necessity in today's age. How can you be against something like Condoms that if used in countries like Africa could save thousands of people from dying of AIDS? Also, I do believe it is o.k. for couples to seek fertility help when they are having trouble conceiving naturally. I don't believe that it is "God's will" for the couple to be childless. If you go by that mentality, then when a person got cancer, you would let them die because that is "God's will". Also, I believe the church has A LOT of laws, but there are also a lot of loop holes to them. For instance, the Church doesn't recognize divorce - a couple is married forever in the eyes of the Church. BUT, a couple can petition to have their marriage annulled - meaning that in the eyes of the Church - it never existed and was invalid. How can you deny the existence of a 30 year marriage that produced "valid" children? Or, take for instance abortion. The church says that it is against abortion in all cases, even rape. BUT, someone who is raped can take the "abortion pill" within 24 hours of the incident and that is not considered abortion because it is probable that the sperm and the egg have not combined yet and that you are just PREVENTING the pregnancy from happening. You say tomato, I say tomata. Besides the "abortion pill" is just a high potency form of the birth control pill, which is not allowed in the Catholic church. And, HELLOOO, it is called the "abortion pill"! But, I digress. I know the Church is trying to adhere to it's traditional values, but are trying to be a little flexible in a modern society. At least they are trying to be somewhat progressive. But, we must call something what it is. Divorce is divorce. Abortion is abortion.

Anyways, the point is this... there is not one particular Christian religion that I identify with 100%. I think that this is true for most people, whether they admit it or not. I take a lot of issues with the Protestant core belief system. Theologically, I am not in line. And, non-denominational churches in fact stemmed from Protestant religions and they hold a lot of the same beliefs. So, you just have to go with what feels right. It's like aligning yourself with a political party. Most likely, you don't agree with 100% of their views, but you still consider yourself part of that party because the MAJORITY of your views and values match theirs. The bottom line is this... Where do I feel closest to God? Where can my faith grow? And the answer is easy. When I walk into a Catholic church, I feel God everywhere. I feel his grace enter me when I walk into the door. Catholics worship God with a respect like no other. I admire that and am proud to be part of it.