Just crowned WMOY (Worst Mom of the Year)

My son is a perpetual victim of some sort of physical ailment. I try to take all precautions to keep him from hurting himself, but to no avail. Short of living in an empty house or gearing him in knee and elbow pads every day, I believe that I have done everything possible to lessen the likelihood of an accident. But, as you will see, my efforts are fruitless. After all, Danyel and I are VERY clumsy and accident prone, so this kid was born without a chance. Here are a list of his current boo-boos. As a whole, he looks like he has been in an awful car accident or is a resident of some third world country where he lives amongst wild animals and flesh eating bugs.

Boo-boo #1: Cut on bottom of foot. He stepped on a piece of broken glass in my mom's kitchen. He never cried. My brother just noticed a trail of blood across the floor. My mom doesn't remember breaking something and has no idea how the little shard of glass got on the floor. Leave it to Carsten to find it and step on it.

Boo-boo #2: Skinned knee from where he tripped in the driveway while running today. It is rare if Carsten is NOT sporting at least one skinned knee.

Boo-boo #3: Mystery cut above eye. I have no idea where this came from, just popped up a few days ago. He probably scratched himself with his fingernails that are overdue for a clipping.

Boo-boo #4: Ant bites all over his foot. Yesterday he was playing in the yard in his ball pen when he held up his foot, looked up at me, and started wailing. I rushed to wipe the swarm of ants off of his foot, but apparently I was too late. Bonus points for the mystery scab to the left of his ankle.

Boo-boo #5: Bruise on inside of left knee. There is also one on the outside of his knee. This looked much worse last week. It is left over from when he got his leg stuck in between the rails of his crib. Apparently, he thought that he could get out that way. It took a lot of twisting, pulling, and pushing to pry his fat knee loose. I don't know how he even got it in there. Climbing over the top never crossed his mind. Thank God. The thought of having to graduate him to a real bed at night and not being able to cage this wild child scares the hell out of me.

Boo-boo#6: Bruise on inside of right knee. This is from when he pulled the kitchen chair down on top of himself this weekend. They are made of iron and are very heavy. The top of it landed right on his leg.

Boo-boo #7: Scrape on his arm that we are guessing came from when we took him to Aunt Meme's neighborhood pool over the weekend. Again, this is just a guess.

Some other recent scars... Last week he was sporting a heat rash all over his back and arms. It just cleared up within the last few days. He also had a big scratch down one of his shoulders where I accidentally scratched him while trying to save him from yet another fall. It bled and everything. The fall would have been less damaging, for sure. At least 3 times a day he hits his head on something. I am amazed at the resilience of his skull and brain.

Got to go... CPS is knocking at my door.

The Accomplice

One of Danyel's clients gave this to Carsten as a gift. It is a monkey backpack/harness. Basically, it is a child harness in disguise. At first, I was sort of offended... "This woman wants us to harness our child? Who does she think she is?!" But, when I loosened up about it, I did think it was kind of cute. So, I showed it to Carsten and he was eager to take it out of the box. He smiled at the monkey and investigated the whole thing for a few minutes. I put it on his back expecting him to throw a fit, but he didn't mind it. He just played as usual and got a kick out of the monkey on his back. The tail functions as the "leash" so to speak. He thinks it is funny when I pull on the "leash" and stop him in his tracks. I have to admit, it was kind of fun for me too. Hehe.

After I thought about it, I decided that this would be great in airports. In July, we are going on an Edward Jones trip to St. John, U.S.V.I with the Bubby. We have some pretty long layovers in Miami and this harness will probably be perfect for the occasion. He is actually a very good follower, hand-holder, listener, etc, so we could probably manage without it. But, I think it would make me feel a little better to have the extra security to make sure we don't lose him in the crowds. The stroller will work only briefly to confine him as he is very active and loves to be on his feet!

I have always taken a stance against harnessing kids like dogs, but I think just this one time, I can compromise my ideals.

In search of some music therapy...

Today I bought the new Dixie Chicks album. It is probably the first CD I have bought in years. I am not much of a music buff. Danyel is like the "King" of music. He knows EVERYTHING about any genre or type of music. It's unbelievable. He is always shocked at how little I know about music. I can sing along with all the songs on the radio, but I have no clue who is singing about 80% of the songs... o.k. probably more like 90%.

Back to the Chicks... So, I bought the CD this morning at Wal-Mart. I actually made a special trip there when they were sold out of it at Target. This is how determined I was to buy it... or how bored I was this morning. Whatever. I have heard a couple of their new songs and have liked them, so I figured I would give it a shot. I have never been much of a Dixie Chicks fan in the past. Well, aside from the time they put the smack down on Bushy boy. They did their part to ruin W's reputation (not like he needs much help doing that), so the least I could do is buy one of their CD's.

So, I have not listened to the CD yet. The only time I have an opportunity to listen to music is when I am driving. But, most of the time, I give in to Carsten's constant "requests" to watch a movie on the DVD player. He doesn't take no for an answer lightly. So, it may be a few weeks before I actually make it through the entire CD.

Like father, like son

Danyel was so proud to take Carsten to his first Houston Dynamo (Major League Soccer) game this past Saturday in Dallas. Carsten is a little young to be interested in the game, but I think Danyel just liked the fact that he was there with him. He can't wait until Carsten is 3 and we can enroll him in soccer. He looks forward to coaching him and spending his weekends at the soccer fields. I just hope Carsten shares his passion for the game. It would be such a nice thing for them to share.

Anyway, we had a good time at the game despite the heat. Carsten stayed occupied with some toys and books and was a very good sport. We were lucky enough to be staying at the same hotel as the Houston team. The players and coaches were all at breakfast at the hotel on Sunday morning. Danyel was really excited to get to talk to a few of the players. They were all very nice and grateful for the support. As one of the players was leaving the dining area he shouted to Danyel, "Thanks for the support. Will we see you at the game back home next Saturday?" Without hesitation, Pookie said, "Yea, we'll probably be there." I knew at that point that there was no probably about it. I know exactly where we will be spending our Saturday afternoon.

Dallas Arboretum and Botanical Gardens

Daddy and Bubby take a milk break...

Carsten enjoys the view...

Deep thoughts by Carsten...

My very handsome hubbie with those big beautiful blues...

Mommy and Bubby in a sea of lavender...

Cutie patootie!

I love Spring!

Dallas Arboretum & Botanical Gardens

My day in a poop free zone

A conversation between Danyel and I this morning went something like this:

Me: Because it's Mother's Day, I think that I shouldn't have to change any poopie diapers for the entire day.
Danyel: Alright.
Me: Really?!
Danyel: Sure.
Me: Sweet!

Could there really be any better Mother's day gift?! Can a diamond tennis bracelet rid your life of poopie for an entire day? I think not. I am of the firm belief that any mother of a toddler would completely agree with me on this one. Especially one of a toddler with a very efficient and active digestive system... one with a toddler that has as many bowel movements in a day as meals. Here is Carsten's typical "schedule", if you will: Eat breakfast, poop out last night's dinner, eat lunch, poops out today's breakfast, eat dinner, and poop out today's lunch. You are wondering how I know what meal is being expelled... Well, maybe you aren't, but I will tell you anyway. With Carsten's lack of molars and ability to chew thoroughly, it usually doesn't look that much different coming out as it does going in. There are some things that are always DEAD giveaways. Even a novice could identify the infamous corn kernel poop, or the familiar orange color of a sweet potato poop, or the always easy to spot bean skins of a pinto bean poop.

Aside from the usual 3 poops, there is sometimes even a bonus poop or two in between. Then, of course, when you are really lucky, you score the jackpot poopie... the one that occurs about 2 1/2 seconds before putting the little stinker to bed for the night. That's the one that really puts me in the mood for a little cuddle time with Danyel afterwards.

Yes, today was a good day. I didn't have to look at poopie all day. Even better, for an entire day, I didn't have to look at, wipe, or even go near my son's... well, you see where I am going with this.

Unfortunately, no amount of bargaining can get you out of harms way of the God awful smell of Carsten's toxic waste. But, even so, I came out smelling like roses on this deal... and not like poop... for once.

Going to the Big "D"

And I DO mean Dallas.

Me: Why don't you take Friday off and let's all go somewhere for the weekend?
Him: Like where?
Me: I don't know.
Him: How about Dallas?
Me: O.K.
Him: Good, we can go to the Houston/Dallas soccer game Sat. at 3 pm.
Me: Great. (sarcastically, of course)

I didn't even see that one coming. He totally set me up for it. So, for Mother's Day weekend, Danyel is taking me to Dallas to see a soccer game. He's such a romantic. But, I must say, in his defense, I did get to pick the hotel of my choice and the rest of the weekend's activities. So, I can't complain.

Sound off

What was America thinking voting Chris off of American Idol last night?! Are you people crazy?! You people wouldn't know talent and charisma if it slapped you in the face! I suppose that Katherine will win. After all, she is the most ordinary and candy coated. In a world where singers like Ashlee Simpson and Britney Spears can make millions selling records, Katherine will fit right in. This is why music sucks today and to listen to the radio is an assault on my ears.

I will really miss Chris and hope that he finds a record deal somewhere. He has such a sexy and sultry voice and the personality & uniqueness to go along with it. Not to mention, he ain't too bad on the eyes either. I will not watch American Idol anymore this season. I could care less who wins at this point. No matter who wins, their career will last about as long as Fantasia's did. Katherine is so BLAH, Elliott bores me to death, and Taylor is too odd - unique - but incredibly odd. Granted, all of them have vocal talent, but it takes more than vocal talent to sell records. Like big fake boobs and sex appeal. Hence my prediction that Katherine will win.

Since you people have really started screwing up this whole American Idol thing, I guess next season I will have to step up and actually start voting.

Bye-bye bottle!

Well, almost...

I decided once and for all to rid my life of baby bottles (at least for now). I am tired of washing them, putting them together, buying disposable liners for them, storing them, and trying to keep up with all their pieces. With Carsten being sick last week he was unable to have any dairy - no formula or milk. So, except for when I was desperate to get water into him, he wasn't drinking from a bottle. I figured this was the perfect opportunity to wean him from the bottle. So, now that he is able to drink milk again, I started putting it in his cup. To my surprise, he drank it without a fight. He is drinking a little less than he was before out of a bottle, but I have read that that is to be expected in the beginning of the transition.

The reason I say "almost" is because I am still giving him his nighttime bottle. This is mostly due to the fact that I am unwilling to give it up. Carsten would probably gladly drink his milk from a cup in the evening, but I would not be glad about it. I love cuddling him and giving him his bottle right before he goes to bed. There is not many things left that he lets me still do for him, but he still lets me feed him his bedtime bottle. I am going to milk that as long as I can.

You got to give the fans what they want...

Carsten at Mercer Arboretum and Playground Friday morning

Flora y Fauna

Swingin' Pug

This pug's mom was swinging him in the swing at the park today. He just sat there while she pushed the swing for him. She said that he is also fond of going down the slide. "Pug" has obviously forgotten that he is a DOG, not a child. This is the craziest thing I have seen in a long time.

This one is for you, Bird. :-)

The Passion Flower

I don't remember where I first saw the passion flower, but I know that it was not in Houston and that I thought it was the coolest flower I had ever seen... very modern-like. Then, last summer, I saw it at two places in Houston, including the Children's Museum & a neighborhood restaurant called Spaghetti Western. I was so excited that it was something that could be grown here. We took a cutting from one of the vines at the Children's museum, but it died shortly after. Last week, Danyel went to Lowes garden center, which always scares me. I am always afraid he will come home with another tree to plant in the yard, which would make something like 20 that he has planted in both the front and back yard. But, instead, he came home with the Passion vine. He found it! He bought two large vines and put them in hanging baskets on the trellis over the deck. We are hoping that they will take over and cover the trellis eventually. They started to bloom this week and are beautiful!

All in the family

This "bug" is kicking the Ramelows in the ass. Last night, Danyel, both his parents, and his brother, all started spewing. Some were lucky enough to avoid the diarrhea... others were not. So far, EVERYONE that has been exposed to the virus has been defeated by it. "Bug": 6, Ramelows: 0. We lose. Luckily, the worst of it passes within 24 hours, so most of us are on the up & up (with the exception of Danyel and Noyan, who are still doing time in the trenches of hell today).

Good luck to all that have been exposed to us! It is only a matter of time before your insides start liquefying and violently expelling themselves from your guts.

Living in a sea of...

...poo & puke.

What a weekend.

Friday morning Carsten woke up with the nastiest diarrhea diaper you could ever imagine. When I opened his door to get him out of bed, the horrendous smell almost knocked me off my feet. But, what I found in his diaper - and out of it - was even worse (little did I know, that by this afternoon, he would have 18 more of these diapers).

Things started to take a turn for the worse Friday evening. In a 1 1/2 hour time span Carsten threw up 4 times... 3 of those times all over me (by the 4th time I wised up and directed his spew toward the sink). Finally, after 4 baths and 4 new sets of pajamas for us both, Carsten went to sleep for the night.

Saturday things were looking up. Carsten had only 3 diarrhea diapers and seemed to be in good spirits. My in-laws were in town and we were having a nice visit.

On Sunday, life went to hell in a handbasket. I woke up at 4:30 a.m. puking and pooing my brains out. I was down for the count all day. I could barely stand up. Luckily, later in the afternoon, the excretions pretty much stopped, but a fever set in. I felt like a truck had run me over... twice. Carsten's condition also regressed. He had 12 diarrhea diapers, 12 lower body baths, and probably close to 12 different outfits yesterday. Poor Danyel was completely overwhelmed. He was taking care of me, Carsten, and trying to entertain his parents.

This morning, I woke up feeling about 80%. I still feel kind of weak and don't have much of an appetite. Unfortunately, Carsten's stomach bug is still going strong. He puked all over himself and me after breakfast this morning. I decided to take him to the doctor in fear of him dehydrating. He has become so listless the last couple of days and has lost close to 2 pounds. The good news was that the doctor told me he was plenty hydrated, the bad news was that he would probably continue like this for 3 more days or so. Being that his immune system is still immature, it will take him a lot longer than me to get over this.

So, life in the sea of poo and puke goes on. All we can do is keep swimming and hope that we don't drown in it.