The Ramelow Family... The Human Wrecking Balls

In Destin, we stayed in a condo right on the beach. It was a very cute, tastefully decorated place. Well, that is until we arrived. You see, we are the clutziest and most accident prone family on the face of this earth. I am sure of it. Let me give you a run down of the destruction:

Accident #1: Carsten pees on the futon couch.
I was changing him from his diaper into his swim diaper while he crawled around the couch. He started to pee and before I could grab him and throw him onto the tiled floor, he had already soaked the couch and then preceded to make a large puddle on the floor. I have NEVER seen this kid pee this much EVER. I cleaned the futon couch (after cleaning up Carsten and the floor) with Woolite and water, which then left a large water stain. Solution? Flip the futon over and hope that it is not discovered. I know, this is wrong.

Accident #2: Carsten pukes on the floor.
I was giving Carsten some small chunks of banana. He hasn't quite mastered the chewing thing. He gagged up the banana chunk and the 9 oz. bottle of formula I had given him beforehand... all over the tile and me. Danyel cleaned up the floor. I cleaned up Carsten and myself. After my shower, Danyel said that I still smelled like puke. Nothing a little pefume can't fix.

Accident #3: I spill wine on the wall.
Apparently I had forgotten I had a glass of wine - red wine - in my hand when I bent down to pick something up. This was only my first glass of wine - I promise. I spilled wine all over the wall and floor. I tried to clean the wall with soapy water, but the stain was there for good. Maybe they won't notice. Later on, I noticed a couple of drops on the chair ottoman next to where I had spilled the wine. Maybe they won't notice that either. Again, this is so wrong.

Accident #4: I drop pizza on the rug in the living room.
This I was able to clean pretty well. The rug had a lot of red in it, so the pizza sauce stain blended in nicely.

Accident #5: Carsten pushes over the end table.
The end table was wicker with a glass top. It no longer has a glass top. At least, the lamp didn't break when it hit the floor. Maybe they won't notice. Yes, this is very, very wrong.

Accident #6: Danyel clogs up the toliet and it overflows onto the bathroom floor.
Luckily, all of his waste, I should say, flushed - there was just some toliet paper left in the toliet when it spilled over. We dried the floor with all the dirty towels and Danyel went to the office and got a plunger to unclog the toliet. It took a lot of plunging, and the toliet was flushing moderately well before we left.

As I am writing this, I am feeling very ashamed. I didn't realize how bad it was until I wrote it all down. Wow. We plan to go back next year. We'll probably stay at the same resort and in the same condo. At least that way, we can keep all of our destruction in one localized place. :-)